Today I listened to a sermon at a local church that hit upon a subject that really gets under my skin: the authority of men/husbands over women/wives, and the submission of wives/women to their husbands/men.

My problem is the emphasis of most Christian churches ends up mostly opening the door to the abuse of women. By “abuse” here, I’m referring to not only oppression but acceptance of forms of psychological abuse. An attitude that women must listen and obey their husbands.

Rare, it seems, are the sermons that admonish men on expressions of true love for women. I have yet to hear a sermon or homily that takes the passage from Ephesians 5 and tells men that they must sacrifice everything for their wives, children, families … “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Never have I heard a pastor spend a significant amount of time telling men that they must give up their life to ensure the faith and salvation of their families — that men don’t get to do what they want, with their family along for the ride.

Instead, we hear about the authority of men, and the submissiveness of women; to the point that some use it to “keep women in their place“. And some women accept it to the extent that they feel they must remain silent and do whatever men decide, even when such men are not living and acting in the letter or spirit of Ephesians 5!

I long for the days that men are openly challenged to live not only as the “authority” or “head”, but also to sacrifice their will and wants to Christ Jesus, to earn that position they’ve been placed in, for the good of their families.